March 2d

Albert, the Tiger’s shadow and valet, is a handsome fellow and a lucky one. He went through the war on the Western Front without receiving a scratch.

“He’s lucky, and that is one of the reasons why I like to have him around,” said Clemenceau. “I seem to remember that whenever a ranking officer was suggested for an important post, Napoleon would always ask—is he lucky? Well, Albert is lucky. While he has done many foolish things he always comes out smiling and as plump as a partridge. Ce garçon loves contrasts and seeks out remarkable experiences. One I will tell you about. For years he valeted the richest man in the world and now he valets me, the poorest, and yet he is always smiling. Of course, when he brings me my soup at midnight, I try to induce Albert to tell me how Sir Basil Zaharoff coined his millions, but he will only tell me how he spent them, and in the spending line I am not in need of instruction. He says that throughout the war, day and night, Sir Basil’s agents were on guard at all the railway stations of Paris and when the permissionaires arrived on leave they were each given forty francs.

“And why? Albert explains that ‘Sir Basil could not sleep at the thought that our poilus on short leave in Paris would have to go without their beloved pinard. What a strange animal he must have been. He could not sleep at the thought that some of our braves enfants went thirsty, and yet the thought that hundreds of thousands of men are blown to bits by the bombs he manufactures never worried him in the least! A strange animal, indeed one of the strangest that the war has brought out of their caves,” soliloquizes the Tiger.