Khortiza, October 6, 1919

For four days we have had no chance to undress. No chance at all. No rest. Last night we had to take in nineteen men. At first there were only eight. Steadily their number increased. At midnight the last came in. For each party we were compelled to furnish a meal. The last ones had a wounded man with them. I never heard a man swear like this man who had a lead bullet in his body.—

This morning there was a great excitement for Marguerite. Someone of these uninvited guests had discovered the hundred eggs she had hidden under a bed to be saved for the coming winter. They considered that a crime. They demanded to have the entire lot boiled at once. She objected resolutely. Often she has had success with her presence of mind, but this time she failed in protesting against their demand. She too, had to obey. They are the lords. No question about that.

The noisiest are mostly not the most dangerous ones. There are those who do not use words but act upon the first impulse: they do not hesitate a moment to stab a man. They do not know about any psychological checks which prevent the moral human being from acting irresponsibly. They are real Anarchists, men who do not recognize any compulsion or law.

I could interest myself in studying the psychology of these human beings. But alas, to make such research, one would have to be unconcerned in this matter. My heart is too deeply involved to permit dispassionate study.