Khortiza, February 11, 1920

I went out today in spite of severe snowdrifts. I could not stand it any longer in the room.

My first walk’ was toward that house, up beyond there, where I used to live before I was taken sick. In that sorrowful, empty house, the old grandmother sat together with the two orphan girls. Those two clung to me as if something of their beloved parents, with whom I had been most intimate, still hovered about my personality. I avoided speaking of their parents; I could not do it, the words would not come out.

Unforgettable remains with me that look of the eight-year-old girl, a look which disclosed an abysmal grief and sorrow. For her father and mother meant more to her than the rest of the world. Indeed, nobody is there to help them; in every house are wretched, pitiful conditions. Hunger, every day, touches them with its cold, bony hand. Shoes and clothes are insufficient. There is somebody who comes daily to heat their stove, they are telling me. They are looking almost bloodless. By all means, they must receive help.

Going home I became so weak that I was afraid of being unable to reach it. There were a few high snowdrifts which I nearly failed to cross. I entered a house to rest a bit. Thus I learned the recent story of that house. The father had died in these days of universal death. The mother was unable to walk as a result of spotted fever. The oldest son had also died, and the younger one had become deaf. This is what the daughter told me.

We all are, with a few exceptions, hard of hearing during the period of recovery, but some are afflicted more than others. A niece of Marguerite’s is almost totally blind. The enlargement of her pupils has taken her sight away.

A young and very religious man is showing a strange attitude since the malady. Not long ago he went out one day in the streets and invited everybody to his house. He was inviting them for a meal.

His own wife did not know a single thing about it. She was, indeed, very astonished to see all the people enter. Her husband talked in a curious way to the invited guests. His mind is evidently affected.

The malady touches every weakness latent in the body and accentuates those weaknesses.

Poor and helpless, we drift at the mercy of fate…