Chapter 12

Suddenly, to Voldi’s surprise, for he had never seen her weep—not even when Arnon died—Fara gave way to an uncontrollable seizure of crying, her whole body racked with convulsive sobs. Gently supporting her in his arms, Voldi waited in bewildered silence for the storm to subside. Gradually the sobs diminished to involuntary little spasms. Resolutely, she straightened, dashed the tears from her eyes and released herself from his arms.

‘Come, Voldi,’ she said thickly. ‘Let us sit down—and talk calmly if we can—and we must!’ Taking him by the hand, she led him across the room to the huge leather chair and signed to him to sit down. He made a brief effort to draw her with him, but she gently resisted, drew up a low footstool, and sat facing him, with her arms folded on his knees. There was a moment of silence, while her tears again ran unchecked. At length she spoke, barely above a whisper.

‘Voldi—dearest—I cannot go back with you to Arabia…No, no, darling’—she went on, insistently, when he made a murmur of protest—’you must hear me out!… Voldi—if I loved you only a little less than I do, perhaps I could obey my selfish heart—and you. Believe me, it is not easy for me to make this sacrifice. You see, it isn’t as if you were a common shepherd with no responsibilities beyond the care of your cottage and your flock. You are one of Arabia’s most favoured sons, destined to be one of the King’s Councillors—provided you are not encumbered with me.’

‘But I am willing, glad to give all that up for you!’ broke in Voldi earnestly. ‘Nothing matters—but you!’

‘That’s the trouble, dear!’ Fara went on. ‘You would give up your duty and your distinction for me. Do you think I could ever be happy, in the days to come, knowing it was my fault that you were unable to serve your King and your country?’ And when Voldi mumbled impatiently that it meant more to him to have her love than any honour the King might bestow, Fara warned, ‘It may seem so now—but the time would come when we would realize that our love had been too costly…Voldi—think of your father and mother and their pride in you!’

‘They would understand.’

‘They might try to understand, but it would be a lasting grief to them…And that wise and good old man, Councillor Mishma! How he has counted on your future!…And there is another problem to be met.’ Fara lowered her voice almost to a whisper. ‘We would have children.’

‘Wouldn’t that be wonderful, Fara!’ exclaimed Voldi.

‘Yes, dear, it would be wonderful—but not for them. They would soon learn that they were—somehow different from other children, and that they were different because of me! Voldi—they might even grow to hate me as the cause of their unhappiness.’

They sat in silence for some time, Voldi having no answer to the problem Fara had proposed. At length, heartened by a new idea, he said, ‘Very well, then. We will not return to Arabia. We will make a home somewhere else. We will go to Rome.’