2. Greater Responsibilities: Fears and Quests (Fragment)

After this, Leon said the following prayers “O my God, and the God of my fathers, on this solemn and sacred day, which marks my passage from boyhood to manhood, I humbly raise my eyes unto Thee, and declare with sincerity and truth, that henceforth I will keep Thy Commandments and undertake to bear the responsibility of mine actions towards Thee. In my earliest infancy I was brought within Thy sacred Covenant with Israel, and today I again enter as an active, responsible member of Thine elect congregation, in the midst of which I will never cease to proclaim Thy Holy Name in the face of all nations.”

This day was celebrated in a special way in the presence of relatives and friends. Leon again received a shower of gifts as a reward for his Talmudic discourse — the “Derashah.” The speeches, made by some of his rabbinical teachers on this occasion, emphasized the importance of religious maturity, and the solemnity of such a responsibility, burdened his heart the more. He knew too well that besides the six hundred and thirteen Biblical commandments (mitzvoth) contained in the Torah, according to rabbinical estimate, there were also innumerable precepts and bylaws, added by the rabbis, which were to be strictly observed, since it is demanded that their precepts be exercised more carefully than the great commandments of the Torah.

The burden, the heavy yoke, which was laid upon Leon’s shoulders, can be fully appreciated by those who were in the same line. To live up to such a standard was impossible. Even prayer, although considered essential, was a heavy burden. It was compulsory three times on weekdays to offer long prayers, recited in the morning, afternoon and evening, as written in the old prayer books. Still longer were the prayers on Sabbath and holy day devotions, not to speak of the solemn season of repentance, the so‑called “Yamim Noroim,” including “Rosh Hashanah” and “Yom Kippur” (New Year and Day of Atonement). As a religious Jew, Leon solemnly repeated daily the creed containing the confession of his belief in the coming of the Redeemer, the Messiah — “I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah. If He tarries, nevertheless I am daily expecting His coming.”

In addition to daily prayers, Leon was obliged to honor God with the hundred benedictions each day, the so‑called “Meah Berachoth.” The short benedictions he had to know by heart to be ready at any event. Drinking a little water or eating a snack of fruit, he had to use different kinds of benediction. Also for regular or irregular occasions of life, pleasant or unpleasant, for lightning, thunder, storm, accident, etc. Prayer is also considered a substitute for sacrifices, which no Jew is allowed to bring except in the sanctuary, where they plead with God: “May the utterance of my lips be acceptable to Thee, our God, as if I actually brought a burnt offering, a sin offering” etc. This is based upon the words of the prophet, “Take with you words and turn to the Lord, say unto Him, take away all iniquity, and receive us graciously; so will we render the sacrifice (calves) of our lips” (Hosea 14:2).

Very earnestly Leon Isaac emphasized in his daily prayers the confession of sins, even evil inclinations (Yetzer ha‑Rah) by beating his breast and emphatically pronouncing each sin written — even such as he never committed. The only bright spot in all the religious exercises and the reciting of long prayers was, when the passages dealt with the coming of the Messiah, the restoration of the Temple, the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the return to the Holy Land.

Leon loved to sing the songs of Zion and to chant the “Shemoneh Esreh” (Eighteen Benedictions): “Sound the great trumpet to our deliverance and set us free. Lift the banner to gather us from our exile. Assemble us together from all the corners of the world, and bring us into our land; return to the city, the city of Jerusalem, to dwell in her as Thou hast promised. Build her in our days as an everlasting building, and establish the throne of David, thy servant. Speedily cause the offspring of David, thy Servant, to flourish and let his horn be exalted by thy salvation, because we call for thy salvation all day long and hope for deliverance.”

However, all the religious exercises failed to give Leon any real satisfaction. Most of them stimulated remorse, penitence, lamentation over the destruction of the Sanctuary and crying over the Shechinah Glory, which lost its habitation because of the sins of the people. It made a deep impression upon Leon, when he listened to the cries of his father during the midnight prayer: “Woe unto me for the desolation of the Holy Temple. Woe unto me for the Holy Torah which was burned with my Sanctuary. Woe unto me for the slaughter of those righteous martyrs — that His great Name and that His holy commands were dishonored. Woe unto me for the sake of the sufferings during all the generations — for the afflictions of saintly fathers and mothers — for the prophets and the just — those who are in paradise. Woe unto me for the sufferings of the Messiah, for our sins have caused Him that, and our transgressions lengthen the time of our redemption. Our iniquities are withholding the good from us. Woe to the children who are driven away from the Father’s table. Although it was centuries ago that the Temple was destroyed, I consider it as though it happened in my day.”