2. Lucky Hans

“But why Hans? Your dogs are so fat, they also probably eat your dough.”

“Yes, they do,” said Breuer. And, stopping Fritz, who was about to speak, with a raised hand, the professor said in an authoritative tone, which no one be expected from him:

“Wait to speak and listen to me carefully. I devoted my whole life to inventing this bread, which would save all mankind from hunger. For you, I have worked to make this bread, and you will receive it. It seems to me that I have already reached the goal, but the experiments are not over yet. And until they are finished, I cannot distribute bread right and left.”

“But Hans…”

“Hans is also an experiment,” the professor interrupted Fritz sternly. “I experimented on animals, these dogs, and guinea pigs. Then I experimented on myself. And, convinced of the complete harmlessness, I decided to experiment on Hans. But that is not all. I have not yet studied all the properties of bread. It may be that long-term nutrition will be harmful to one’s health. Don’t be too quick to envy Hans. I don’t know how the “dough” will behave in a month. It could turn sour and become unfit for eating. So I say, wait a little more. You lived without this bread, you can wait a few more months. I promise you that I will supply you, your whole village, with bread first, but on one irrevocable condition: if you keep this secret and do not spread it among the fishermen of neighboring villages. If I become aware that even one more person has learned about the “eternal bread”, I will destroy Hans’s bread and leave here. This is my final word.”

“Professor,” said the teacher, “but how …”

“No objections!” Breuer snapped.

“I’m not talking about that. I wanted to know how this bread grows anyway. You see, I’m the local school teacher, and perhaps I’ll understand.”

“You see,” said Breuer, “I am a professor at the University of Berlin, but it took me forty years of studies to “understand” this. Well, how to explain it best? If you cut an earthworm in half, both halves will grow back and two new worms will appear. Make sense? Something similar happens with the dough. Now, I have a task waiting. Goodbye. Remember my conditions. Either a few months of patience and silence, and you will all get bread, or you will get nothing.”

And, nodding his head, the professor returned to the house.

Frustrated deputies stomped on the spot.

“Short and clear,” said Ludwig. “Instead of dough, you can cut earthworms. Fry one half and eat, and the other for growth …”

“That was just an example,” objected the teacher.

“Examples won’t get you fed. Dogs are good for experiments, Hans is good for an experiment. Why are we not fit for experiments? No, I won’t let this thing go.”

The disappointed deputies returned to tell their fellow villagers the sad news of the refusal.