The Fair at Sorochintsi

IV

If it’s a man, it doesn’t matter,
But if there’s a woman, you see
There is need to please her.

KOTLYAREVSKY

“Well, wife, I have found a husband for my daughter!”

“This is a moment to look for husbands, I must say! You are a fool—a fool! It must have been ordained at your birth that you should remain one! Whoever has seen, whoever has heard of such a thing as a decent man running after husbands at a time like this? You had much better be thinking how to get your wheat off your hands. A nice young man he must be, too! I’m certain he is the shabbiest scarecrow in the place!”

“Oh, he’s not anything like that! You should see what a young man he is! His jacket alone is worth more than your pelisse and red boots. And how he downs his vodka! The devil confound me and you too if ever I have seen a fellow before toss off a pint without winking!”

“To be sure, if he is a drunkard and a vagabond he is a man after your own heart. I wouldn’t mind betting it’s the very same rascal who pestered us on the bridge. I am sorry I haven’t come across him yet: I’d let him know.”

“Well, Khivrya, what if it were the same: why is he a rascal?”

“Eh! Why is he a rascal? Ah, you birdbrain! Do you hear? Why is he a rascal? Where were your stupid eyes when we were driving past the mills? They might insult his wife here, right before his snuff-clogged nose, and he would not care a damn!”

“I see no harm in him, anyway: he is a fine fellow! Except that he plastered your mug with dung for an instant.”

“Aha! I see you won’t let me say a word! What’s the meaning of it? It’s not like you! You must have managed to get a drop before you have sold anything.”

Here Cherevik himself realized that he had said too much and instantly put his hands over his head, doubtless expecting that his wrathful wife would promptly seize his hair in her wifely claws.

“Go to the devil! So much for our wedding!” he thought to himself, retreating before his wife’s attack. “I shall have to refuse a good fellow for no rhyme or reason. Merciful God! Why didst Thou send such a plague on us poor sinners? With so many trashy things in the world, Thou must needs go and create wives!”